Behind the Scenes

Dark, gloomy and silent,
A feeling of depression hit me
And there i stood looking at them
I work work work
Only to be ignored
By those who have found what they wanted
And decided to abandon me
For the ones they love
I have done all the work
Behind the scenes for them
But all i get in the end is just ignorance
I never should have done what i did
Though i sound evil and bad
But its better than just looking at their backs now
And meaning almost nothing to them at all
There is no way i can be beside them anymore
Because, all i am now, is a leftover
And walking behind them, only being able to see their backs
Is the most suitable for such people like me.......

????

I'm clueless
But I'm scared,
I see you being surrounded by them,
I feel like i'm about to loose you
When you're around me,
I never know what to do
Do i know what i want?
I think i want you
But am i sure?
I am afraid
I am hurt because of you
Your fear of hurting me has already torn me into pieces
Your fear of loosing me has already injured me badly
Dont fear to loose or hurt me
Because that way, you're causing me more damage
I'll be shattered in no time.....
Although I will heal,
The scars are still going to be there...
I know you are scared to loose again
But why not try again,
This time, you may not loose
But rather gain....
If you carry that fear of loosing with you
You'll end up hurting everybody around you
Everyone falls down, but we all learn to get back up
And start all over again
So why cant you do that?
If you get up and reach out for my hand,
And never let go, you know i'll be yours

I Won't Let Go!!!!

Today, i called u
When u heard me that it as me
U didnt sound surprised
There was nothing, and nothing
For us to talk about
The phone was so silent
And then I just said "bye"
And then u cut me off so fast
But my mind just wont get off u
I've been thinkin of you........
So please, please be with me
Cause i really love you
Even till the day we separate
I will continue to love u
And i will continue to love you
I'll always wanna be with you
And i dont want anything to separate us
But things just don't go too good
But I cant let go,
I cant possibly let go,
And I wont let go,
I dont wanna let you go........

You Vanish

You are always there, just not that i can see

Protecting me one way or another, like me guardian angel

But once in a while, you disappear in to thin air

Where i cannot find you, see you or hear you

You seem to be with me all the time

But there are times that you vanish

Like you don't want to care anymore

Like you're tired of having to protect me

You vanished once, you vanished twice,

And then a third, each and everytime, it breaks my heart

Shatters it into a thousand pieces,

Putting it in a critical condition,

You disappear, leaving me to face the pain myself

And one day, you decide to come back

To start protecting me again,

But each time you come back,

I fear for you to leave again

Without sayin, without a reason.......

Guardian Angel

Good times, bad times,

You've been through all with me

You've been there for me

You've been my guardian angel

Because you have been with me

No matter how busy you are

How impossible it is for you to be there,

You always manage to be there for me.....

Whenever i'm in need,

There you are, with your arms wide open

When i'm upset, your shoulders are there for me to cry on

Although you claim i'll wet your shirt

When i'm happy, you'll go crazi with me

When i'm in trouble, you come to save me

Even when you're mad at me, you're still there for me....

And this makes you my guardian angel

Someone who is always there for me

Especially when i need you

You've been kind, caring and forgiving

And for everything you've done, I love you......

What Do I Mean?

In the beginning, I was this girl that you wanted

Then it probably turned into "That Hard To Get Chick"

Next could be I give up, shes chosen someone else

Afterwards was just plain confusion

Do I want her or what I have already?

Then was shes honestly annoying me

Why won't she?

Later on was probably shes so much trouble

Then was certainly that big mouth bi*ch

I honestly dunno what it is now.....

I'm scared to say u did love me.......

Because maybe i'm wrong......

I don't know how you feel about me

What do I mean to you?

Just a friend? or Just a best friend that u have fun hanging out with?

I really want to know but I'm too scared to ask

Because i'm too scared of what I would hear.....

This is what you mean to me

The world.....

I cannot concentrate without you

You're all i want

I've given u all I have because.......

I Love You........

Xxxx

Without U

For a long time now,

You have been with me

Through everything,

Good or bad, happy or sad,

Even if I did something to upset you

You were still there for me

And i'm used to you

Being around for me

And looking out for me

Taking care of me

Being with me

You're a part of my life now

Each and every day,

I talk to you, tell you what i've been doing

You would come visit me

Me being able to see you every week

Whats going to happen without you?

Its almost like taking part of my life away

Just like stealing my heart away....

I almost cant live without you now

You are now the most important part of my life

I want you more than anything

All I can hope for now is that this is all a dream....

And when I wake up, you are right by my side.......

Under Your Spell

You were nothing to me

From the very beginning

Merely just a friend

That i didnt want to see

But then........

You took the poison out of me

And since then, I've been under your spell

I fell silently for you

But sadly you were not available for me

Then I went away

And thats when you said:

When you come back, you shall be the happiest girl ever

And i believed you.......

The day i came back, you came for me......

I really did think that i would be the happiest girl ever

But the situation never changed.....

You were still not available for me

And then, you said you need some time off

You just left, leaving me here in pain

The love i have for you grew day by day

Yet, you just kept me waiting

I waited and waited......

Suddenly, i receive the best news ever

You're available again.....

Finally, i thought that we could be together

And we were......But this didnt last for long.......

Till you told me, i wasnt important enough

And there and then, i was left there alone, by myself

Knowing that i have lost you,

I cared about nothing else on this earth

Disasters came, one by one......

But then, you came and gave me hope again

You kept me in secret and yet, i was still happy

For being in secret is better than nothing

This didnt last for long either

Because walls have ears

Secrets get out.....

My trust had been betrayed

Ever since then......

Things have changed.....

You claim you still love me.....

But seems like your attention is still not mine

I'm still here under your spell.....

I want you, your attention, your everything

Because, i have lost everything to you

Ever since you put me under your spell....

But now......I'm tired.....I may still be under your spell

But its starting to wear off bit by bit.....

Now its your turn to make an effort to keep me under your spell

Love Poison

I kissed your soft lips

And fell under your spell

And now, i'm deeply in love with you

You are like a poison

That is slowly spreading....

And making me fall deeper and deeper........

Slowly, its starting to hurt

Whenever you're not here with me

My heart starts aching

And my head start hurting...

From thinking about you too much.....

And when you're with me,

My eyes go blind.....

Because you're all I can see....

Everytime you let go,

It hurts me and takes away the smile on my face

As days pass by, the poison spreads all around my body

And now, i'm completely under your spell.....

And if you should leave me,

Your poison will kill me........

Too Far Away

I stretch out my hand

Try to reach to you

But all I can feel....

Is the breeze,

Passing by my cold fingers...

You're too far away from me

I need you here with me

To keep me warm....

Through the cold nights....

Where are you?

Why are you not here with me?

Ur always not here when i need you

Ur always far away from me....

Like you are trying to hide from me...

Tell me why...

It breaks my hear to think

Of how far you are

And I miss you more

Everytime I think of you

And it hurts so much

When I reach out for you

And all I get...

Is the thin, cold air...

As I see you move further and further away

Away from me....

It shatters my heart into a million pieces.......

Give Up

Giving up is not that easy

Sometimes its better not to give up

Because there are a lot of unexpected

If you give up at the wrong time,

You may miss something,

Something that you will regret missing,

Or....

You may run into something even better

There are a lot of "What Ifs" in this world

What if this, What if that?

Well its not about the What ifs? Is it?

Its about what you have now and not what could have happened

Or What Should have happened....Right?

We are what we are because what should have happened, happened

And what shouldn't have, didn't.....

Isn't this what makes us who we are?

I chose not to give up at times that i should have

And in the end i hurt myself

And left scars on me

But this time, i chose to give up before i end up getting any scars

But i missed out on something

And on the bright side, i ran into something better

But am i sure what i ran into is better?

Nobody knows but at this very moment,

I think that what ran into is more than awesome

And i shall treasure my every moment with it,

Rather than dwell in the past and regret on what i missed out on........

Because i believe that there are second chances in this world..

And i'm sure i will have a second chance with what i missed out on.......

Paper Cuts

No scars, No signs
Insignificant
But it stings
One kind of pain
That i can't stand
Although nobody can see it
It pierces my heart
Although i say it doenst hurt,
Deep inside, it hurts and burns like fire
Its so bad that I can't handle it
I cover the pain with smiles
But when i see you
I can't smile...So all i do
Is to walk away silently.....
Paper cuts sting, but it will heal....Just a matter of time

Fear of Love

I fear to be alone

I fear to be abandoned....

I dont want to be abandoned....

Because of love.....

I fear it when people by me

Are in love, because, they tend to forget

Forget everything but their lover

I fear love myself because

I dont know what it can do to me....

Love can hurt me very badly

Love is very cruel

Loving someone who doesnt love you,

Is the thing i fear the most

Being hurt by love is scary....

No matter what type of love it is,

It hurts, and it makes me bleed....

It stings, i hate to see it,

Love brings out the jealousy in me

And the selfishness that i try to hide....

I hate myself when i become like that

Just because of love....

Y can love change one so much?

I dont understand....

The pain that it brings people,

The injuries and scars that it makes,

The way it brings tears out of our eyes,

The way it can kill people

Also, the way it can make people go crazy,

Yet why do we fall in love?

When it can do all these crazy things to us...

It makes me seek for attention

Even self-control is useless against love

Because these 4 letters are very powerful.....

They can make one happy or sad.....

This word, L-O-V-E.......is amazing......

Choices

Making choices are hard

There is always an opportunity cost
To a choice that you make

Either u sacrifice this to have that

Or that to have this

Why cant we have both?

Then that will just make life

Or everything else easier

But it doesnt work that way

We are always forced to choose one or the other

Once u choose, it would mean that

You have hurt someone or sacrificed

Something that means equally as much.....

Why do humans have to suffer because of choices?

Isnt there another way around things?

Another way that does not hurt anyone

Or maybe this is wot is called "Life"

We always have all these choices to make

And when we make the wrong ones,

There is no turnin back......

Somtimes even regretting wont help

Because what has been done is done
And we cannot change that fact.......

The Vanished Magic Heart

The magic heart
Was once by my side
It was always there
To motivate me to do things
Whenever I come across a problem,
I always think of the magic heart
And the problem vanished just like Magic...
This day, the magic heart started to fade,
I knew it was time to say it
I said my wish,
And now, this heart is nowhere to be found
It has vanished into the thin air,
Just like MAGIC.....
All i have now are the particles of dust
That this magic heart has left.........

Fear/Alone

Fear to loose
Fear to change
Fear of loosing everything
I dont like this feeling
Its terrible
To have your things taken away
One by one
And have your friends
Leaving you, one by one
I fear that day will come
I fear to loose
I dont want to loose
I fear that everything wont be the same
I dont want to change
This feeling, is worse than torture
This feeling, is killing me deep inside
I dont want to loose my friends and people that i treasure
Please! Dont take them away from me!
I cant live without them....
They are very important to me...
I plead for your mercy
Dont take them away from me
If you take them away from me,
I would ask you to take my life away along with them
Dont leave me all alone
I fear the dark
I fear to be lonely
I dont want to be alone in the dark
Its scary
Dont let me be the only one left in this world
Please..........

Confession

To be able to confess
To someone you love,
It takes all the courage
That you have to do it
Before or after confession,
People happen to think
"What if......"
There are no what ifs in this world.
If you have decided to do it,
Gather up all your courage and do it
Confess your love and feelings
To the person you love
And even if the reply was harsh or bad,
Just say to yourself that you have said it all
And there is nothing else you can do.
Life a life without regrets
Is always better than living a regretful life
Because nobody knows whats going to happen the next minute
And if anything does happen to you,
Nobody can tell the one you love your feelings......
You'll just leave in pain
Without having your feelings said....

P.S. Omg this is such a crappy one.....urgh!! sth is wrong with me.....

Let Go

There is always a time
In your life where you have to learn
How to let go of certain things
Some people find it very easy
Others find it hard
Everyone has different ways,
Of looking at things.
Some always look on the bright side
Others look on the dark side
Those who look on the bright side
Have an advantage in everything
Because they have no worries bout anything
But those who look on the dark side
Finds life so difficult
Because they only see the bad things
And none of the good things.....


To let go of somebody you love
Is like a mission impossibe
It is very painful for one to let go of the one you love
But its more painful to know he/she does not love you
Or to know that he/she loves someone else...
But if you dont let go,
You are giving yourself a fake hope
Something that will never come true
And fakes hopes are the last things you would want to have
Because they are dangerous
Fake Hopes can cause one to never love again....
Its always better to let go earlier
Because that way, it wont be as painful as holding on
So if you know its time to let go,
Just let go....

Miracles

Miracles happen only happen once in a lifetime
If you don't make good use of it, you'll regret it
There is once in a lifetime, where there are chances
That you have to make use of
Because, if its gone, its gone forever
And if its then you realise what you have missed,
Its already too late to redo things......
Here I am, waiting for my miracle to arrive....
But it seems like its not coming....
But I will patiently wait for it to come
Miracles dont wait for people
Its always people who wait for miracles
And I believe that the people who have waited for a lifetime
Will get it and live a even happier life.....

You

I am sitting here
In silence, facing the computer,
Looking at pictures of us,
Crying and smiling at the same time,
Thinking of the days when we had so much fun.
You made me think about you
Day and night
But you never think about me
I have has sleepless nights
Just thinking about you
I really want you to know
But I can't let you know
You have gone through
Pain and hapiness with me
And all these days,
You have been there for me.
Although you weren't much of a help,
You still made me feel sweet and warm.....